I thanked God for giving me another year of my life.
Before I slept last night, I harked back to my colorful and interesting 36 years of my life on earth. I had an unhappy childhood. I had very short adolescent years. I became a parent before I reached adulthood. I became a single mom at the age of 21. I was a single mom for 12 long years before I remarried. What a life!
I lived with my grandparents when I was a child. It was a hard life for me. I have always wanted to be with my family. There were many times that I struggled to escape while on our way to the bus terminal going back to my grandparents' place from a summer vacation with my family. One thing that I couldn’t forget during my childhood was when Super Typhoon "Nitang" hit Surigao City. It was a traumatic experience for me as a child. And the aftermath of that event was a food shortage. I experienced too much poverty.
During my high school days, I lived with my Aunt, I mean, Aunts. Two years in my father's younger sister and another two years in his older sister. That time I got a lot of suitors and I already got a boyfriend. I did not take my study seriously though I belonged to the prominent class section called "Experimental Class" or "Crack Section". All students in the class were considered "smarter" than the rest of the class sections. But I never cared about it. I was a rebellious, irresponsible and selfish teenager in my time.
At the age of 18, I already have Jen. I was married to a person whom I thought the right man for me. I really thought he was the man, well, I was wrong. But I was lucky to have a very supporting and understanding parents-in-law. They provided everything we need even after Jun was born. The marriage didn't work. It just made us all miserable. That time, I started to get interested in reading books/novels and writing. There were times that I tried to make a short story inspired by my own experience but I couldn't concentrate having 2 little kids so I resorted to writing poems. My first poem was entitled "Life is so CRUEL". It really was!
I firmly believed that there is always turmoil in every relationship but as long as both parties would hold on together, everything would end up okay. Ours didn't work. It is because both of us gave up for so many reasons. My kids and I moved to my parents’ house. Funny, I was not at my parents during my childhood and adolescent days but I was there during my adulthood and stayed there for good.
My colorful life began when I became single again and when my father passed away. I was a government worker, a college student and a struggling mom to my two kids. I was a "barkadista" and I thought that without friends, I am nothing. I worked during the day and went to school during the night. When I got home, I checked my kids' notebooks to see to it that they made homework. I woke up early to prepare their breakfast and their things for school. As "barkadista" as I was, I always gave time to hang out with my friends in a Karaoke bar or to their house and got drunk sometimes, yikes! I had a lot of escapades. I made allot of mistakes. I did not listen to my mom. I was such a bad daughter to her. I have had several relationships mostly flings in my 12 years of being single. I tried to have someone who would love me and care for me and for my kids as but it turned out that none of them was the one for me.
For those struggling and shaky long years of my life, I could say that I was a good mom to my two kids. They grew up to be responsible and smart kids. They can do any household chores. They both belonged to a special class in their elementary and high school years and they were both achievers. Ate Jen is now 18 years old and she really is a big sister to her brother Jun, who is now 17 years old. They are very close to each other and most of all they are God-fearing teeners. I am very proud to say that I definitely RAISED them well.
When I met hubby, things eventually changed into allot better. I mellowed down. I didn't go to any bar as I used to. I did not hang out with allot of friends anymore. I became more compassionate to others. I became more considerate, more caring, more understanding and most of all; I became responsible in the truest sense of the word. When I met him, I have found out that I have so much of real and genuine love inside my heart, which made me a better person.
My life has ups and downs. I am sure yours has too. Always remember that "It is not the failure that will determine your destiny but it is your next step and the next that will tell the story of your life".
Life is what you make it!