So Lonely Here

While penning this blog, I am sobbing at the same time. If someone sees me at this very moment, maybe he or she would think that I am insane.

I just got home from work and hubby is at work right now. I am feeling so down, so alone and soo lonely. My heart misses my teeners, my family, my favorite fruits, favorite foods, too many to mention. To sum them up all, my heart right now is longing to go back to the country where I belong, the Philippines.

I am missing my kids. I used to be around with them since they were born and now they are thousand miles away from me. It really makes my heart bleed every time I think about them. Truly, if it were not because of them, I wouldn’t allow myself to suffer here. Homesickness is very difficult to get over although hubby is doing all the best he can just to make me happy.

I am missing my family back home. I miss my Mom. Though we are not that close, I indeed miss her a lot. I miss my sisters and my one and only brother. I miss my nieces and nephews too. I miss my friends as well especially my best friend Lalay. Lalay is not in the Philippines because she is an OFW in Bahrain and I am 100% sure that she feels the same way I feel too.

I am missing my favorite fruits. I miss Pomelo, guapple, mango, marang, lansones, durian especially Nangka or Jackfruit. Every time our regular hotel guest Mr. Jack Frost checks-in, I always remember my most favorite fruit. I am being silly, yes, but that is what exactly I remember every time I see his name in the In-House List. I am salivating having a thought of the jackfruit. I miss its smell too.

Lastly, I am missing my favorite foods. I miss paksiw, pinakbet, camote tops salad, pancit miki with pork, Nilagang Baka, “ginamos” (salted fish), “bulad” (dried fish) and “kinilaw”, “sinugba” and “sinabaw”. Geez. I miss all Pinoy foods very much. Although we can buy Pinoy foods in Reno or in Las Vegas, it couldn’t satisfy my cravings because the stocks are only few and incomplete.

I really miss everything about Philippines. Everything!

And thinking about this everything makes me sadder, lonelier and down.

 I couldn’t help but cry.